Three Sugars

Thursday morning we were getting ready for school and work and Jackson hollered from his bedroom that he needed three sugar packets for a school project. Thankfully, I had some packets on hand … reached above the coffee pot and grabbed a few. I laid them on the bar and counted four packets. The conversation in my head began. Do you want me to give him three or four sugars? Is this particular “more” pleasing to you?

Two years ago, I hired a new team member at work. She noticed that I was a “Giver” but also recognized that my giving at times was out of sync. She gave me some candid feedback. “Sometimes, people just need the Volkswagen. You don’t have to build the Cadillac every time.” I knew there was validity to that feedback and it came from the heart. I had already received similar feedback in my personal life.

Why is my giving sometimes perceived as too much? When is it right and when is it too much? These powerful questions usually can be traced back to a lie that I’ve told myself for a long time. This time, it brought up a few lies … lies that I had seen before. 

Lie #1: I’m not enough. So if I give more, until I’m completely tired, broke or resentful, I’ll be enough. 

Lie #2: I’m responsible.  If I don’t do this, no one else will. 

Lie #3: My worth is tied to doing. People will love me if they need me. 

These are deep seeded lies that I still work on. The enemy wants these lies to stop me from reaching my full potential. But I have news for him, I had an even BIGGER breakthrough this week! God doesn’t want me to stop giving, but my giving needs to come from Him so that it increases His kingdom, not mine. 

When we got in the car to head to school, God whispered to me, Just as you give more to your son, I want to give more to you. I’ll do that through your giving, but your giving must come from me and through me. You’ll know your giving is from me when your motive is pure, when it’s easy and when it brings joy.

Although I’ve learned how to be a more gracious Taker, I’m still a Giver. But my giving today is more about Him, and less about me. I talk with Him beforehand about what He wants … is it a Volkswagen or a Cadillac? Funny, I have more energy to build the Cadillac these days because sometimes, my days just require a Volkswagen. 

Let us not grow tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:9 If you feel resentful after giving, it’s not from God. If you think that you are the only one who can give, it’s not from God. If your giving is dependent on your own strength, it’s not from God. Ask Him, is it the Cadillac or the Volkswagen today? You are Still A Big Deal when you give the Volkswagen.